Great Business To Start - Fantasy Football 2010 Rankings With Auction Values and Humor

Analyze player values for trades and plan future moves to get the most return out of your Fantasy Football players, allowing players to value their teams, the rankings are updated every Tuesday morning. The basis for the valuations is a 10 team league starting 1 QB 2 RB 2 WR 1 TE 1 K 1 Defense with a 50% yardage and 50% TD scoring system with no points awarded for receptions. If a draft or auction were to occur today this is the rank and value we place on the players based on their past performance and predicted future production. The following rankings are based on a fantasy football player's year to end season value.

RANK PLAYER DESCRIPTION AUCTION $

RB 1 Chris Johnson Titans,

$44 It's Chris Johnson, it's a Falcon it's a Jet, able to jump tall lineman on a 4th down, more powerful than a locomotive, faster than a speeding Usain Bolt.

RB 2 Adrian Peterson Vikings,

$40 It feels like it could be AP, if anyone's going to have a record setting year in '10, despite having some erratic games and fumbling issues.

RB 3 Maurice Jones-Drew Jaguars,

$35 Offense remains stable and a repeat performance very likely. . . . . No complaints, even so, 2009 stats feel like it could be his ceiling.

RB 4 Ray Rice Ravens,

$34 His weekly production is as reliable as Rush Limbaugh's 4th donut of the day.

RB 5 Micheal Turner Falcons,

$30 He'll get it back on track in '10. . . . . He apparently switched to "easy bake oven" technology '09. . . . . . If in the '08 season he was fueled by petroleum products. . . . . . The Burner.

RB 6 Frank Gore 49ers,

$27 The forecast calls for high weekly averages with spotty nagging injuries all season.

RB 7 Steven Jackson Rams,

$25 This much potential hasn't been squandered since Matt Damon turned down Famke Jannsen in Rounders.

WR 8 Andre Johnson Texans,

$24 But his performance is tied to Schuab staying healthy, potential for even more TD's. 2009 receiving yards leader by over 200 yds.

WR 9 Larry Fitzgerald Cardinals,

$23 The Cardinals WR's are going to be like Rage Against the Machine trying to go on without Zach de la Rocha, if Warner retires.

RB 10 Cedric Benson Bears,

$22 Or does he go back to the Cedric we know and hate? Does his deal with the devil extend into the 2010 season? . . . The question is.

RB 11 Ryan Grant Packers,

$21 Oddly the exact opposite can be said of Megan Fox. . . . . . But he does his job well, not the sexiest RB in terms of flash.

RB 12 Jamaal Charles Chiefs,

$21 But he is the kind of guy that is going to find a way to get his, the Chiefs miserable team is not doing him any favors.

RB 13 DeAngelo Williams Panthers,

$21 A full split of two great backs, basically. . . But make sure you know what the Panthers are selling before you buy, the perks at a time share pitch are all fun and games.

WR 14 Vincent Jackson Chargers,

$20 Both have made something completely irrelevant worth watching now. . . . . Is to San Diego WR's what MadMen is to AMC.

RB 15 Rashard Mendenhall Steelers,

$19 Being the lead RB in PIT guarentee's a certain level of scoring; although we don't expect him to be unbelievable in '10.

WR 16 Reggie Wayne Colts,

$19 He killed fantasy owners down the stretch of '09. The hottie in The Italian Job or the psycho in Monster that murders your fantasy season, were not sure what we'll get out of Reggie next; like Charlize Theron.

QB 17 Aaron Rodgers Packers,

$19 We expect him to be the top rated fantasy QB again, if his offensive line continues to give him the sandlot approved 5 banana count again next year like they did the second half of '09.

QB 18 Drew Brees Saints,

$19 Not too bad of numbers to build a fantasy team around. 300 yds and 26 tds, in each of the past 4 years he's put up a minimum of 4.

WR 19 DeSean Jackson Eagles,

$19 He had the highest average pts/game among Fantasy WR's last year. . . . Despite the fact that is was a turbulent ride with big swings in production.

WR 20 Brandon Marshall Broncos,

$19 For now we remain very optimistic on his '10 season. . . There are a lot of questions and reasons not to go after #15, it seems like every year leading up to Fantasy Drafts/Auctions.

QB 21 Peyton Manning Colts,

$18 You always feel like your in good hands, because when he's your FF QB, if not he should. Is he pimping any insurance companies on TV yet?

WR 22 Miles Austin Cowboys,

$18 Chumbawumba and Hanson to be knocking on his door for advice, the Proclaimers, look for Blind Melon, if it's not. . . . Now we're curious if his '09 season was. . . . We found out that his 200 yd game was not a one hit wonder last year.

WR 23 Randy Moss Patriots,

$18 Its just we're kind of left with a bad taste in our mouths with how he went out in his last few games, its not that we don't like Moss' '09 numbers, don't get me wrong.

RB 24 Thomas Jones Jets,

$17 Assuming Father Time doesn't finally take him down. . . You've come to the right place, but if you like reliable production, go elsewhere, if you seek flashy highlight reel TD replays.

RB 25 Ronnie Brown Miami,

$17 But how many times can he bounce back from injury and be his old self, he's still young and we love him when healthy.

WR 26 Calvin Johnson Lions,

$15 Gobot in disguise! . . . . . Looking more like a 'second tier' transforming action figure of the 80's.

RB 27 Beanie Wells Cardinals,

$15 Wells will post solid numbers, if that continues into 2010. The trend at the end of 2009 season was Wells finally started getting the bulk of the carries over Hightower.

RB 28 Knowshon Moreno Broncos,

$14 Entering his second year he'll be counted on more and should deliver. But it wasn't a disaster either, he didn't exactly blow us away, with just under 1000 yds rushing and 9 total td's in 2009.

WR 29 Anquan Boldin Cardinals,

$14 Boldin would absolutely destroy the competition in an "injury bug" challenge on Survivor, someone call Jeff Probst, if it's not too late.

RB 30 Joesph Addai Colts,

$13 Danny Almonte and Greg Oden all get their fake id's from the same place, apparently he. . . Addai's only 26.

RB 31 Kevin Smith Lions,

$12 Then by all means, if you can talk yourself into a Detroit Lions RB not named Barry Sanders.

RB 32 Pierre Thomas
Saints,

Yet Mike Bell in the role of the butch brunette gets far too much screen time $12 he is the hottest by far, He plays Suzanne Summers in the Saints aggravating Three's Company sitcom.

QB 33 Tom Brady Patriots,

$12 Lets hope 2010 doesn't turn into a collect the paycheck year and pump out a 'Righteous Kill' type season, brady/Moss had some incredible highs. . . Like DeNiro/Pacino in Godfather II and Heat.

WR 34 Sidney Rice Vikings,

$10 We're not as bullish on Rice with T Jack or Gus throwing to him, but if Favre retires, he'd still be good.

WR 35 Greg Jennings Packers,

$10 The next he's got semi-digested wet hot dogs and buns all over his shoes; one minute focused and poised for a Coney Island Championship, his reversal of fortune last season rivals only that of an ameteur competitive eater.

WR 36 Roddy White Falcons,

" $10 Or are you gonna bite, "are you going to bark all day little doggie, blonde wants to know? Mr. . . . White. Mr, seriously.

WR 37 Steve Smith Carolina,

$10 It just feels like he's moved from first class to businees class after last year, he's still near the front of the plane.

QB 38 Matt Schaub Texans,

$9 The under appreciated girl in high school who you knew was hot and now you're too late to the party.

TE 39 Dallas Clark Colts,

$9 Suck it airport. Dallas Clark is our #1 ranked TE, dallas International Airport is the nation's 3rd busiest.

TE 40 Antonio Gates Chargers,

No signs of SD going back to a run heavy offense with the aging LT-Style Electric Slider (he don't like that call) $9

TE 41 Vernon Davis 49ers,

$8 He just couldn't learn how to speak Na'Vi, has all the physical gifts to be in the movie Avatar.

WR 42 Chad Ochocinco Bengals,

$7 He starts to look more ordinary; but with declining numbers in those areas, it was always the consistent big yards and receptions that made him special, he's never been a TD machine.

QB 43 Phillip Rivers Chargers,

$7 Since 2007 he's increased Yardage and TD totals while reducing INT's every year; trending well.

TE 44 Owen Daniels Texans,

$7 When he was a top TE, this ranking assumes a full recovery and return to 2009 form.

RB 45 Matt Forte Bears,

$7 High School can be so cruel. The teen equivalent of going from Prom King to Chess Club in one year.

RB 46 Jonathon Stewart Panthers,

$7 But might have to wait a little while longer for that scenario to play out, would love him if he was the workhorse back in this offense.

WR 47 Marques Colston Saints,

$6 What a lovely child, colston. Of course it is Mrs, oh. That's Marcus with a "Q".

WR 48 Steve Smith Giants,

$6 A great #2 Fantasy WR that will give you week in week out receptions and yardage.

WR 49 Santonio Holmes Steelers,

$6 If Santonio Holmes career parallels Larry Holmes career we believe next season could be the Gerry Cooney fight where Holmes really finds his stride.

QB 50 Tony Romo Cowboys,

$6 Witten and Jones their offense looks to be dangerous, he has been a bit streaky but with Austin. He fell flat in the final game. Tony Romo does a little too much peacocking to be a true Cowboy.